Musings on life, parenting, Jesus, and more...

I have a confession to make. I guess I’m kind of hoping that if I speak this out loud, it will help me let go and not continue to feel this way. I am so jealous of people who have large, loving families that hang out together, vacation together, and just do life along side eachother. Yes, I just got back from a big family gathering in Southern California and I am so incredibly blessed to have amazing aunts and uncles and cousins. My grandparents, my dad‘s parents, who have since passed years ago, raised five pretty incredible kids who have gone on to have families of their own and I truly feel so fortunate to be a part of that Casler clan. However, I didn’t grow up close to any of them so besides a holiday visit or a summer vacation here and there I never spent much time with them. My own family, mom, dad and little sister, lived remotely in North Idaho for the first 12 years of my life. Then my mom decided to move to Missouri and I followed less than a year later.  Now in adulthoo...

Most of you may not know this about me, but I dropped out of school when I was 15, sophomore year, and got my GED as soon as I turned 16. I also ran away from home at 15 and besides moving back in with my mom for a year while I went to cosmetology school, I’ve basically been on my own ever since then. It’s crazy to think about really, especially as I look at my own almost 16 year old, preparing to get her license, interviewing for her first job, starting her junior year of high school. She essentially is an adult. She could take care of herself and as I am proof of, she could survive on her own at this age.  In the eyes of a teenager, they’re all grown up too. I remember what it felt like to be that age. You feel invincible, you think you are smarter than your parents (and in many ways you probably are!), you want independence and to discover who you are as your own person, apart from your parents and siblings. It’s normal to push away at this age. Our job as parents is to be there...

Dear Dads, I know divorce and separation are hard! Maybe even harder for you at times since you will most likely be giving up more time with your kids than their mom will, especially if you were the bread winner and she was the stay at home caregiver.  I know that strife between the two of you might make you want to give up and not fight for time with your kids. I urge you not to give up, if at all possible.  My mom left my dad when I was 12 years old. She left me and my 10 year old sister with our dad and moved half way across the country. Nine months later, in the heat of an agrument with my dad, I asked to go live with her. Despite her mental instability and poor parenting choices, my dad allowed me to move half way across the country to live with her. I'm sure he thought he was making the best decision for me. He didn't want to fight with my mom. He didn't want to fight with me. So he let me go. And then he never fought to get me back. And that has had a lasting impact ...

We had a few transportation options to get to Southern California for my Dad’s Memorial this summer. I thought about taking the train, we did that two years ago when we came down for a family reunion and I really enjoyed it! The slower pace of things, and the train stations at some of the stops made me feel like we were taking a step back in time. Plus it was great not to have to have my eyes on the road all the time and just enjoy the scenery.  I looked into flights but we already have to buy 4 plane tickets to get down here in December for our cruise, so I wasn’t excited about buying 4 more tickets, and then also having to rent a car once we got there.  Ultimately we settled on driving, in part because my uncle Steve has a chair that he made and wants to donate to the Casler Farm property in North Idaho, so he’ll be strapping that to the top of my rig for the trip home, (and that’s why we are just making a quick stop back home before heading over to Idaho, so I don’t have to...

That might be a little overly dramatic, but I know I’m not the only mom feeling this way. Over the last few weeks I’ve had conversations with a few other mom friends who have been feeling similar frustrations. Screens are addicting. We know that now, but in many ways it seems like it’s too late, the damage is done. We are a world addicted to screens. It’s not just a kids problem, and I’m aware of the irony as I sit here on my own screen and write this blog post, while my kids happily splash around in our friends pool. I feel like a hypocrite telling them to get off their phones and screens and enjoy the real world, while I type a way on mine, but I do also see the value that technology has brought to my life. Without the internet, the cloud, and mobile hotspots, I wouldn’t be able to have the business and career that I have, that allows me to do things like spend afternoons at the pool with my kids in the summertime. But it does make it difficult to ask them to do something that I can’...

I came across this letter in my drawer the other day while I was cleaning out my nightstand. It is so meaningful and profound coming from my teen or tween (I think my daughter was 12 when she wrote this to me.) The adolescent years are tough. I wouldn't want to go back and repeat them, and I want to make sure I am healthy and equipped to be a good mom and role model during this transitional time in their lives. I want to be able to look back and re-read this during the challenging times that I know are ahead as I enter the next 6 - 7 years of having at least two teenagers in the house. Thank you my dear, sweet daughter for taking the time to write this. You are right, WE'LL get through this together and despite the challenges of adolescence I am so honored and blessed to be your mom, and I truly love your company (most of the time). lol Love you so much and I will always be here for you no matter what!

Not hostile. Hostel.  Definition: an inexpensive lodging facility that usually has dormitory style sleeping arrangements and sometimes offers meals and activities.  It might seem a little strange to share a room with a bunch of strangers, but I actually love it. Don't get me wrong, I love a good hotel room all to myself with a private bathroom and if I could afford my own private soaking pool somewhere, I would certainly enjoy that as well.   But hotel rooms have gotten expensive. $300 - $400 a night! I just can't afford that for a quick weekend getaway. Airbnb's are great, I'm not opposed to renting rooms on there either but I guess I just like the feel of hostile style lodging.  I didn't realize it until I got here, but I think my first experience in a hostel was with my dad when we were backpacking around Europe together in 2002.  Being here these past couple days has been a special time of reflecting on his life, the good times we had together and how much h...