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Family

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When I was 21 I moved to Oregon. I had only met these people once or twice in my life but Karen was my grandmas baby sister and her and her husband Al took me in as family when I moved here, let me live in their home for free with my dog Kylo, establish residency using their address so I could get in state tuition at the University of Oregon (Go Ducks!), and included me in family events and get together like I had been part of their family my whole life.  They were so welcoming and accepting. It was a little foreign to me as my own family and upbringing had been filled with dysfunction. Their home reminded me of my grandparents home though and I am so appreciative of their willingness to adopt me for a season. After I got married and started a family of my own, I didn’t visit as often as I could have and I regret that. It was hard for me to feel welcome and accepted because of my own insecurities, not because of anything they ever said or did. When my dad passed a year and a half ago,
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Clothing Exchange!

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Last night was so much fun! Six of us ladies cleaned out our closets, bagged up the stuff we no longer wanted and got together for a fun night of free shopping in the comfort of my living room. I don’t know about you, but I personally am not a fan of shopping. I don’t like getting all sweaty in department store fitting rooms, and with inflation at record levels, spending money on clothes seems a little frivolous.  But it’s still fun to freshen up our wardrobes and have some fun new items to wear, especially as seasons change.  Cue the clothing exchange! We use to do these many years ago, and I think it’s time to bring back the tradition. Not only is it an excuse to clean out our closets and a way to get a little wardrobe refresh, but it is also a fun excuse to get a group of ladies together for a night of fellowship and laughter. My recommendation: stick to your size range so you’re not having to go through clothes that won’t fit you. Six seemed like the perfect amount of people, enoug
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Parenting Transitions

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My kids are growing up. My oldest just turned 16 and got her drivers license. She’s in the process of getting her first official job, and this morning she had an early morning appointment to fill out new hire paperwork. We had an interesting interaction that I wanted to share because I think it really emphasizes this transition that is occurring in how I parent my older children.  This is crazy to think about, but when I was her age, I was living on my own, working and paying rent, and getting my GED. So I’m fully aware that she is capable of doing life on her own, however, I’m so thankful that she doesn’t have to. I didn’t realize it in the moment while I was living that out, having to be on my own independently so young had some very traumatic pieces and has definitely impacted my development and how I see the world. This stage of parenting I’m in, it’s not so much about telling her what to do anymore. It’s about advising her and guiding her and being there for her as a listening ear
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A Confession of Sorts

I have a confession to make. I guess I’m kind of hoping that if I speak this out loud, it will help me let go and not continue to feel this way. I am so jealous of people who have large, loving families that hang out together, vacation together, and just do life along side eachother. Yes, I just got back from a big family gathering in Southern California and I am so incredibly blessed to have amazing aunts and uncles and cousins. My grandparents, my dad‘s parents, who have since passed years ago, raised five pretty incredible kids who have gone on to have families of their own and I truly feel so fortunate to be a part of that Casler clan. However, I didn’t grow up close to any of them so besides a holiday visit or a summer vacation here and there I never spent much time with them. My own family, mom, dad and little sister, lived remotely in North Idaho for the first 12 years of my life. Then my mom decided to move to Missouri and I followed less than a year later.  Now in adulthood, I
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High School wasn’t my jam

Most of you may not know this about me, but I dropped out of school when I was 15, sophomore year, and got my GED as soon as I turned 16. I also ran away from home at 15 and besides moving back in with my mom for a year while I went to cosmetology school, I’ve basically been on my own ever since then. It’s crazy to think about really, especially as I look at my own almost 16 year old, preparing to get her license, interviewing for her first job, starting her junior year of high school. She essentially is an adult. She could take care of herself and as I am proof of, she could survive on her own at this age.  In the eyes of a teenager, they’re all grown up too. I remember what it felt like to be that age. You feel invincible, you think you are smarter than your parents (and in many ways you probably are!), you want independence and to discover who you are as your own person, apart from your parents and siblings. It’s normal to push away at this age. Our job as parents is to be there to
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An open letter to divorced and separated dads

Dear Dads, I know divorce and separation are hard! Maybe even harder for you at times since you will most likely be giving up more time with your kids than their mom will, especially if you were the bread winner and she was the stay at home caregiver.  I know that strife between the two of you might make you want to give up and not fight for time with your kids. I urge you not to give up, if at all possible.  My mom left my dad when I was 12 years old. She left me and my 10 year old sister with our dad and moved half way across the country. Nine months later, in the heat of an agrument with my dad, I asked to go live with her. Despite her mental instability and poor parenting choices, my dad allowed me to move half way across the country to live with her. I'm sure he thought he was making the best decision for me. He didn't want to fight with my mom. He didn't want to fight with me. So he let me go. And then he never fought to get me back. And that has had a lasting impact
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Road Trip 2024

We had a few transportation options to get to Southern California for my Dad’s Memorial this summer. I thought about taking the train, we did that two years ago when we came down for a family reunion and I really enjoyed it! The slower pace of things, and the train stations at some of the stops made me feel like we were taking a step back in time. Plus it was great not to have to have my eyes on the road all the time and just enjoy the scenery.  I looked into flights but we already have to buy 4 plane tickets to get down here in December for our cruise, so I wasn’t excited about buying 4 more tickets, and then also having to rent a car once we got there.  Ultimately we settled on driving, in part because my uncle Steve has a chair that he made and wants to donate to the Casler Farm property in North Idaho, so he’ll be strapping that to the top of my rig for the trip home, (and that’s why we are just making a quick stop back home before heading over to Idaho, so I don’t have to unstrap
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