Living in the In-Between: Grief, Gratitude, and the Gift of Today

Today would have been my dad’s 77th birthday. It also happens to be Father’s Day - a beautiful, sunny Sunday here in Oregon.

Yesterday I watched my daughter play beach volleyball under a warm summer sky. Today, I’m sitting on the sidelines of my son’s baseball tournament, soaking in the joy of family, sunshine, and the ordinary magic of weekend routines. On the surface, everything feels peaceful and full. And yet, beneath it all, there’s a quiet ache. I miss my dad.
Grief is a strange and unpredictable thing. One minute you’re fine, the next minute the cat leaves you a dead bird on your front doorstep and you’re bawling your eyes out.


I know I’m not the first to say it, and I won’t be the last, but I’m deeply grateful that we can hold two truths at once. Life rarely exists in black and white. It’s the “both/and” that shapes our richest experiences. I am both incredibly grateful for this weekend, and also profoundly sad.


I miss my dad’s presence, especially on days like today. But I also celebrate the parts of him that live on in me. He had a way of living like he was already retired—even while he was still working. He took on just enough work to get by and lived frugally so that he could spend his time how he wanted: traveling, visiting family, exploring the world. One of my most cherished memories is the backpacking trip we took through Europe after I graduated from college.


His approach to life influenced me deeply. I try to prioritize experiences over accumulation. I want to create memories with my kids now, not postpone joy for some uncertain future.


Still, not everything about his plan worked out. His later years were marked by stress—mostly about money and medical costs. I often think he might’ve had a more peaceful, fulfilling end if he had planned more intentionally for that chapter of life.


So today, I hold both: the beauty of the present and the ache of the past. I celebrate my children’s milestones while mourning the absence of my dad. I honor what he taught me—through his example and his mistakes—and try to live a life that balances freedom, joy, and a bit more foresight.


Because life is short. But if we’re lucky, it’s also deeply, beautifully full.

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