Musings on life, parenting, Jesus, and more...

We hear all the time about how politics divides our country, but recently I experienced it on a deeply personal level—and it hurt my heart. If I’m being honest, the last three presidential elections have been tough for me. I haven’t felt like we had truly great candidates to choose from, and I’ve never fully aligned with everything either the Democrats or Republicans stand for. I do my best to choose the candidate I believe will run the country responsibly—even if they aren’t the most likable person in the room. I’m grateful to live in a democracy where I get to vote, and I take that responsibility seriously. But to me, voting is a civic duty—it’s not a guage for friendship or family relationships. I fully respect that everyone brings their own experiences, values, and priorities to the table. We all see the world through our own lens. That’s why I try to put my energy into things I can directly influence: nurturing healthy family relationships, contributing positively to my comm...

I am so disenchanted with our US healthcare system. I had to switch insurance back in January and I’ve been paying $480 a month for a health insurance plan that I haven’t been able to use it all, because I haven’t been able to get in with a primary care doctor to talk about my concerns, and none of them are so urgent that I feel like I need to go to an urgent care or emergency room over. So I have just been left to my own devices, to do my own research and try to figure out things on my own. I am thankful that my plan is a high deductible plan that qualifies for a health savings account so I was able to put $4150 (pre-tax) into my health savings account at the beginning of the year when I started the plan, and I’ve been able to use that money on things like a gym membership, vitamins, and supplements, and even some tech related items like a heart rate monitor and smart scale. The reason I qualified to make those purchases with my health savings account is because I’m obese, according t...

I know there’s a lot of heavy stuff going on in our world right now. Our country is divided, and even though I support our president and believe that he will do good in our country, there are also lots of things happening that I don’t agree with, and I sometimes struggle to feel “proud to be an American” .  I know there are people who dedicate their lives to justice and pointing out the things that are wrong in our country and in our world. I am not one of those people, to be honest, and throughout the course of my 46 years I have learned that for my own mental health and sanity, I need to focus on the good. It doesn’t mean I turn a blind eye or pretend there aren’t bad things happening, it just means that I choose to find the good that’s out there, and put my focus and energy into that as much as possible. Today I want to share how excited I am to see a generation of people dedicated to healing their trauma and creating a better future for the generations that come after us. I’ve ...

My sister and I have never been close. I think she would agree. As kids, I wasn’t very nice to her and I’m still to this day not sure why. I mean, there’s normal sibling rivalry, I get that. I have two teenage girls of my own. But growing up, I almost felt like my parents pitted us against each other on purpose, and I definitely felt like the “bad kid” while my little sister could do no wrong, so I think that just created a lot of bitterness towards her from the start. As my parents relationship deteriorated, so did my behavior and I remember doing really mean things to my sister. She remembers me dipping her toothbrush in the toilet, and not telling her until after she had used it, and I remember holding her down and dripping lugies towards her face, sometimes dropping them (accidentally of course). I’m embarrassed to admit it but that’s the type of sister that I was. I have apologized over the years and she has forgiven me, but I still think it has affected our ability to be friends....

Am I destined to be single for the rest of my days? Finding someone at my age seems impossible, especially in the age of online dating. I’m kind of over the apps at this point. They feel like such a waste of time, and you have to weed through so many unavailable, unresponsive, or just plain rude and vulgar men to even get to a good conversation or a meet up in person with a real dude. From there, I seem to somehow end up with felons or people who have been in jail, at least that seems to be my pattern recently. Lol. It’s made for some funny stories, but also kind of depressing. I will admit, I’m picky. I’m content being single, I’m financially stable, I can take care of myself, and right now my kids come first. But I have to believe that there is somebody out there that would appreciate what I’m looking for in a relationship and be a good fit. Part of me loves being single, I sleep so good at night in my giant bed with no one snoring next to me, but I miss companionship, and I wish I h...

Two years ago, on Memorial Day weekend I found out my dad had cancer. Three weeks and a day later, he was gone. Yesterday, his long time caretaker on the property (who had left briefly right before my dad got sick, but came back after he passed and has been taking care of the property for the last two years in his absence), passed away, three weeks and a couple days after being diagnosed with liver cancer. He was only 62. The timing and similarities have brought back waves of emotion from my dad passing, as well as sadness that this man had no family or friends other than my dad and the people he met through him over the years. Two of those people stepped in and helped care for him, and sit with him during his final days, and for that we are so thankful. I am also thankful that hospice was able to get involved quickly, and the process to get him on Medicaid went much smoother than anticipated. The state should pay for most of his medical bills and funeral home expenses. However, this l...