Jenica's Ballet Recital

Jenica's Ballet Recital

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March 20th, 2018

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(I wrote this a month ago, but I’m just now finally brave enough to share it here. If you comment, please be kind.)
I’ve probably taken 25 flights over the last year or so, and every time up until now I’ve thought that things would be better if the plane I was on just crashed, and I died, and Rob could collect the insurance money and hire a nice nanny to care for the kids and I could just go to heaven and be with Jesus instead of having to go through all the pain and hurt that comes with getting divorced.
I know that this is completely selfish of me, and I would have never done anything to intentionally end my own life and leave my kids without a mother, but I honestly felt that death was the only way out of the situation I was in. I was not strong enough to leave my marriage, but it had become quite apparent that I was not strong enough to stay either. 
Today I took off on an airplane, on one last solo trip before I become a single mom, and for the first time in over a year, I didn’t pr…
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Living the dream isn't always dreamy

It has always been a dream of mine to have my children become bilingual (while they are young and their minds are like little sponges.) Last winter, as many of you know, my family and I were blessed with the opportunity to spend six months in Mazatlan, Mexico.

We loved the experience so much that we decided to come back and have the kids attend school here for at least a year, and see just how much Spanish they can learn being fully immersed in the culture and community here in Mazatlan. 
We applied for, and were approved for temporary residency visas, which allow us to stay for longer than 6 months (and up to 4 years) at a time. I flew down last month and got the kids registered at a great private school, and Monday we all arrived here in Mazatlan to start this new adventure.
I feel so lucky to be living out the dream I've had for so long... but like the title of this post reads, "living the dream isn't always dreamy." 
The last couple of days have been hard… Like, …
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Sorry... not sorry

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So this happened today...



In a moment of frustration my three-year-old chucked  his iPad down a set of stairs, thus cracking the screen. 
But here's the deal… I don't think I ever would've bought my three-year-old an iPad. To me, three years old is way too young to be spending time in front of a screen. The iPad that he had was actually my first iPad that I ever owned probably a good seven or eight years ago. It had been passed down through Jenica, Tenley, and now onto Kenton because Jenica and Tenley both saved up enough money to buy their own personal screens. 
The thing is, I'm not even sorry. When Tenley came to me scared, knowing she needed to show me that Kenton had destroyed his very expensive toy, I didn't feel angry, or upset, or even disappointed. I felt relieved. I felt relieved that my three-year-old would now experience a natural consequence of his actions, which meant no more screen time for him. 
Because the truth is, in my opinion, he is not developed e…
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