Why I Won’t Let Politics Define My Relationships

We hear all the time about how politics divides our country, but recently I experienced it on a deeply personal level—and it honestly broke my heart.


If I’m being candid, the last three presidential elections have been tough for me. I’ve never felt like we had truly great candidates to choose from, and I’ve never fully aligned with everything either the Democrats or Republicans stand for. Voting strictly along party lines has never been my style. Instead, I do my best to choose the candidate I believe will run the country responsibly—even if they aren’t the most likable person in the room.


I’m grateful to live in a democracy where I get to vote, and I take that responsibility seriously. But to me, voting is a civic duty—it’s not a litmus test for friendship or family relationships. I fully respect that everyone brings their own experiences, values, and priorities to the table. We all see the world through our own lens.


That’s why I try to put my energy into things I can directly influence: nurturing healthy family relationships, contributing positively to my community, running my business with integrity, and choosing kindness whenever possible. My circle of friends reflects this. I have friends who are deeply religious and friends who are not, friends who are conservative and friends who are progressive. Many of my closest friendships don’t involve politics at all—we connect on a much deeper level, and that’s what matters to me.


But recently, while visiting a family member, I felt the weight of political division in a way that was painful and unexpected. This person never directly asked who I voted for in the last election, but she assumed—and from there, she made it clear she disapproved. Over the course of our visit, I often felt criticized, even bullied, for beliefs she projected onto me.


The first time politics came up, I tried to diffuse tension by saying, “I can see good things that each candidate would have brought to our country, and for my own mental health, I choose to focus on the good.” But she wasn’t interested in finding common ground. Instead, she seemed to thrive on pointing out the negative, fueled by a steady diet of daily political news.


Personally, I’ve chosen a different path. Years ago, I stopped consuming the news constantly, and my quality of life has improved because of it. I’m not against staying informed, but I believe each of us should choose what brings peace and balance to our lives.


What hurt me most wasn’t her opinions—it was how she directed them at me. At least once a day, she would point her finger at me and refer to “your president” in an aggressive tone while proceeding to talk about something he was doing that she did not agree with. 

(Isn’t he “our” president since we both live here in the United States. 🤷🏻‍♀️)

It felt less like a conversation and more like an accusation. Over time, the weight of disapproval grew heavier until, by the end of our visit, I broke down in tears. I felt like she saw me as a terrible person, disapproving of who I was and the choices I have made.


This experience reminded me just how toxic political division can be—not only for our country, but for our relationships. Voting for someone doesn’t mean you endorse every single choice they make. Leaders are human, just like us. They make mistakes. They have flaws. And no one in history has ever led a nation in a way that pleased everyone.


I believe one of my God-given strengths is the ability to see both sides of a situation. That’s why I truly meant it when I said I could see good—and bad—in either candidate. But more importantly, I believe our day-to-day relationships shouldn’t rise or fall based on election results. Family, friendship, and community matter so much more.


Division erodes the very fabric of what makes us human. Respect, empathy, and kindness are what hold us together. If we lose sight of that, then no political party—no matter who’s in power—will ever be able to heal what’s broken.

While on one hand, my visit left me very saddened at the deterioration of a lifelong family relationship, it also strengthened my resolve. I will keep showing love and respect to the people in my life, no matter their politics, because that’s the only way forward that makes sense to me.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. It takes a lot of courage to put my personal thoughts out there for the world to read, so please be kind in the comments.

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