How we got here…

Some of you have noticed that we moved. Some of you know that I bought a house. Some of you know I bought the house with my kids’ dad, my “wasband” of 5 years. Yup, you read that right! Me and the ex-husband purchased a home together. No, we are not getting back together. We have totally separate living spaces and it’s been so wonderful for the kids.

Here’s how it started back in December. This is a page from my journal that I was looking back on. It was my personal writing to myself that I feel led to share, so please be kind.

The holidays are definitely a challenging time for me. Broken families, childhood, trauma, anniversaries of loss, along with the cold weather, short days, and little sunlight here in the PNW… It definitely challenges my mental health. 

This will be my first winter without antidepressants in quite a while. I think I might have done one of the Mexico winters without pharmaceuticals, but other than that it’s been at least 11 or 12 years since I’ve been anti-depressant free. 

Overall, I do feel like I’m doing pretty good. I have the skills and tools to manage my mental health without medication. I truly believe that. Prayer, meditation, yoga, mindfulness, essential oils, exercise, journaling, walks in nature, podcasts/teaching, therapy, rest, nutrients, sunlight/vitamin D, I know they are ALL so important to my mental health.

I want to impart that knowledge and awareness into the lives of my kids. And by choosing to possibly share a home with Rob again I am acknowledging that I know how to care for myself and my emotional well-being. 

I know how to communicate my feelings in a kind and respectful way, and I know my feelings are valid and it’s OK to have them. I also know my boundaries and my own self care needs.

And I truly just want the very best for my kids and my family, and my family will always include Rob. He is the father of my children. I want Kenton to have more time with his dad but I don’t want to give up my time with him in order to make that happen. He needs us both. And we both want the best for these kids that we brought into this world. And although we could both afford to buy houses on our own, it would cost so much and be so taxing on both of our budgets. 

It would probably mean no more private school for Kenton, and he has excelled there. It would probably mean no club volleyball for Jenica and she has excelled there. It would probably me no more developmental soccer for Tenley, and she has excelled there. 

So for now, we choose our kids. We choose what is best for them, even if it seems strange to the world. We choose to save money, make smart investments, and give our kids more time with their mom AND their dad, during these last precious years that we have left with them.

Jesus, I pray over this situation. I believe you are going to bless this arrangement, and that both Rob and I would find joy and contentment on Bradley Road and the kids would feel loved, important and safe.

So that's how we ended up here! We made an offer in December, purchased it in January, Rob moved in in March and installed a complete kitchen downstairs, making the daylight basement its own 2 bedroom, 1 bath unit. I couldn't move during tax season so I used the time to remodel bathrooms upstairs and get new doors and trim and fresh paint. The kids and I officially moved in at the end of April. We have been here a little over a month and so far things have been good. I'll share more as time goes on because I want people to see that this sort of arrangement is not only possible, it can be so beneficial on many different levels. Love you all. Thanks for taking the time to read this and for caring about our life and our family.