“Did That Emoji Just Flip Me Off?” – How Taking Offense Might Be Wrecking Your Relationships

We need to talk about something quietly sabotaging our connections—something so subtle it often flies under the radar until it explodes into misunderstandings, hurt feelings, or even lost relationships.

Let’s talk about offense—specifically, how easily we take it, and how that habit may be silently damaging our ability to relate to one another in healthy, empathetic ways.

The Emoji That Broke the Camel’s Back

Not long ago, I was chatting with a friend when they casually confessed they find the “thumbs up” emoji offensive. To them, it felt dismissive—like a digital eye-roll or a passive-aggressive “whatever.” I was surprised. I use that emoji all the time. To me, it means “Sounds good!” or “I’ve got it!” or “Thanks!” Never once had I attached any snark or sarcasm to it.

Their comment had me wondering, how many times had I sent a simple 👍🏼 and unknowingly ruffled feathers? How many of us are interpreting messages through our own filters, shaped by assumptions, insecurities, or past experiences?

Lost in (Digital) Translation

This isn’t just about emojis. My teenagers recently informed me that leaving someone “on read” is a bad thing as well. (If you’re as late to the party as I was, “on read” means you’ve opened a message but haven’t responded.) In their world, it’s almost a slap in the face.

To me? It’s usually just life happening. Maybe I’m at a kids sports event, in a meeting, or spending quality time with friends. I check the message to make sure it’s not urgent, then get back to it later. No malice. Just bandwidth management. But once again, that interpretation gap can breed offense where none was intended.

Assume Good Intentions

Here’s the thing: in the age of instant messages, emojis, and autocorrect, we desperately need to give each other more grace. What if we stopped assuming ill intent every time a message hits us the wrong way?

Most people aren’t trying to be rude. They’re just communicating in shorthand while juggling a million other things. But our interpretations—shaped by tone-deaf texts, emotionally charged days, or past wounds—can twist a harmless interaction into a personal attack.

Sure, real offenses happen. There’s a time and place for apology and accountability. But a thumbs-up emoji? A delayed reply? These shouldn’t be grounds for conflict in my opinion.

Ask, Don’t Assume

If you ever feel stung by someone’s message—ask. Seriously. Just ask.

“Hey, that message came off a bit blunt—was that your intent?”

Or better yet, pick up the phone. Have the conversation face-to-face if you can. You’ll get context. You’ll hear tone. You’ll see facial expressions.

And more often than not, you’ll realize the offense wasn’t even real.

In a world increasingly lived through screens, it’s easy to misread and misinterpret. But if we lead with curiosity instead of offense—if we assume positive intent rather than hostility—we unlock more peace, connection, and understanding in our relationships.

So the next time you see a 👍🏼, don’t let it ruin your day. It might just mean “Cool, sounds great”—and nothing more.