Contentment

I love my life. I love my kids. I love my career, and my clients, and the friendships both old and new that have developed over the years. And looking back in my life, at least the last 15-20 years, I’ve always felt blessed and fortunate. Sure there have been ups and downs along the way, but when I take a step back and look at my life as a whole, I feel satisfied and happy.

I wish I could say the same about the world around me, but honestly when I take a step back and look at our world, our planet, our government, our food supply, it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. I know it’s important to stay up to date on the status of things, in order to be a good citizen in a democracy, but for the most part I prefer to focus on my family, and doing my best to raise kind humans that can tackle this crazy world we live in with love, kindness, confidence, and creative solutions for the problems we are facing. 

I’ve been divorced for a little over 5 years now. That was the hardest thing I have ever went through and during that couple year period where I wrestled with the decision, I definitely was not content. But I can still look back on that time and find blessings and love amidst the heartache. 

I think our outlooks on life played a huge role in our incompatibility as husband and wife. I am definitely a glass half full sort of gal. (My teenager woukd be cringing right now at my use of the word gal 😂). 

I like to look on the bright side, and focus on the positive. Not in the “toxic positivity” sort of way, where negative emotions are surpressed or ignored. I still think it’s important to feel all
our emotions and kindly communicate to others when we are struggling or when something is bothering us. 

But the rest of the time, I just choose to air on the side of positivity and gratitude, thinking the best of others, and looking for the good that’s all around us. Completely opposite of my ex-husband. He seems to regularly point out the negative in situations, rarely seemed content or satisfied when we were married, and even seems to project that negative attitude onto our kids sometimes. 

A great example happened a few weeks ago when my middle daughter was randomly given the same number jersey for volleyball as her big sister, #6. Dad thought big sis would be so annoyed by that, and I thought she would either be indifferent or think it was a cool coincidence. I asked her about it later in private and she said she didn’t care. It didn’t bother her. 

Another small little example that happened the other day: My daughter and I were driving past a new housing development by her school, and I commented that they were finally starting to build. I must have said it in a pleasant or excited tone, because Tenley said, “Wow, you and Dad had totally different reactions to that.” I asked her what she meant and she said that when Dad commented on it, it was in a negative way, like “just what we need, more houses” but sarcastically. When I commented on it, I was excited to see more houses because:

1. I know there is a housing shortage in our area and there are lots of unhoused individuals and families that desperately need a roof over there heads, especially for these cold, rainy months coming up.

2. There is hardly anything on the market for sale and I think that’s driving prices up. More houses hopefully mean lower prices, making housing more affordable to more people.

And lastly #3, I just like watching construction. I think it’s fun to watch big projects take shape and come to life. I loved watching the apartments across from the high school be built last year and now it’s fun to see it all done. When we lived in Mexico, I loved watching the houses be built in a totally different way than we build houses here. It’s just fun and interesting to me.

I could chose to focus on over-crowding, or the negative effects on the environment, traffic, or any number of negative aspects associated with more development, but for my own personal mental health, I need to chose to look for the good. There’s plenty of negativity all around in the world. I don’t want or need to add to it. But that’s just my personal perspective 😊 

What about you? Are you a glass half empty or glass half full sorta person?

(Side note: glad I’m not superstitious since coincidently all 3 of the kids were randomly assigned #6 this fall! Lol)