Musings on life, parenting, Jesus, and more...

I love my life. I love my kids. I love my career, and my clients, and the friendships both old and new that have developed over the years. And looking back in my life, at least the last 15-20 years, I’ve always felt blessed and fortunate. Sure there have been ups and downs along the way, but when I take a step back and look at my life as a whole, I feel satisfied and happy. I wish I could say the same about the world around me, but honestly when I take a step back and look at our world, our planet, our government, our food supply, it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach. I know it’s important to stay up to date on the status of things, in order to be a good citizen in a democracy, but for the most part I prefer to focus on my family, and doing my best to raise kind humans that can tackle this crazy world we live in with love, kindness, confidence, and creative solutions for the problems we are facing.  I’ve been divorced for a little over 5 years now. That was the hardest thin...

Usually defined as pain lasting longer than 3 months, I unfortunately know from experience how debilitating and downright depressing chronic pain can be. Over the last decade, I’ve made many changes in my lifestyle, my healthcare routines, and my diet to try to eliminate as much pain and inflammation from my body as possible. But I still get flare ups.  Most recently, I’ve seemed to have developed a pinched nerve in my neck. My neck and back have been a source of discomfort for as long as I can remember. I took a big fall off the top of a large slide when I was 2 years old and started getting chiropractic care for headaches in elementary school. For the last 5 years, I have been getting chiropractic care every 2-3 weeks, and for the last few years I’ve also been trying to do masssge/cupping once a month. I take curcumin, a turmeric derivative that is supposed to be good for reducing inflammation. I try to go for a walk and do some kind of yoga or stretching on most days.  Whil...

Have you heard the term yet? Glimmers. I’ve seen it a couple of times now. It’s like, the opposite of a trigger.  A trigger, sometimes referred to as a stressor, is  an action or situation that can lead to an adverse emotional reaction.  A glimmer, on the other hand, is something that leads to a positive emotional response. Instead of anxiety, or anger, or fear, positive feelings of peace, well-being and satisfaction kind of overtake you and it just feels good! I don’t know about you, but I could use more everyday life moments like that. Taking time to stop and notice these moments has been so life enhancing for me. I feel like I’ve been focusing on my problems for years; working towards healing past hurt and trauma, which, don’t get me wrong, has been amazing and it had to happen for me to really live a healthy, fulfilling life.  I’ve learned how to manage my triggers, how to reprogram my brain to think differently and therefore respond differently in stressful situ...

I love the beautiful fall colors! I love the changing seasons. I love how beautiful the Pacific Northwest is and I know that is greatly due to all the rain we get.  But this time of year is hard for me.  The cold temperatures cause my body to be in a lot more physical pain than I am during warmer months (or in warmer climates.) Because of this, I stay inside and bundled up more often, and really miss having time outside. I also miss the light, not just the sunshine, although that is huge too, but the lack of daylight this time of year also weighs on my emotions. It’s like, despite my efforts, I’m teetering back on the brinks of depression this time of year and I don’t like it. But at least I have enough awareness and life experience to know that these feelings are temporary.  I can’t believe it’s been 7 years since we downsized, packed up our necessities, and ventured south to Mazatlan, Mexico for the winter. I’m so incredibly thankful that my family was able to have that...

I have had the urge to make my chili recipe for about a week now and today I finally just decided that work can wait, I could use a little mental break anyway. With the October 15 deadline rapidly approaching, work has been a little stressful.  I spent a little extra time at the gym, then came home to do some cooking. As the meat was browning and I was chopping the green peppers and onions, I was thinking about how much we have lost the “process” of things in our culture. Everything is “processed” for us. Our clothing, furniture, homes, much of our food supply is made for us. The processes that use to take place in everyday life have been replaced with machines to do it for us. I remember when we first moved down to Mexico, and we had a house without a dishwasher, or maybe it had one, but it didn’t work very good, I don’t remember exactly, I just know that I washed dishes by hand for about six months, and I actually really enjoyed it. And I just had that similar feeling as I was ch...

I just finished  having my teeth cleaned  at the dentist. I knew it had been a while since I had been in, but I was thinking a year, year and a half. When they told me my last visit was in 2019 I was shocked (and a little concerned to be honest…the last time I went too long with out check ups was when I was pregnant with the girls and when I finally went back I had really bad gum disease.) This time was different, thankfully. I had no cavities  and my gums are in great shape. The dentist actually said “see you in another 4 years, I guess” then laughed and said just kidding.  Side note though, and tell me if you think this is weird, but they only let you schedule out 4 months in advance. So in my defense I can see why I didn’t go, and since there were no reminders of upcoming appointments it just fell off my radar. I did manage to keep bringing the kids though, and that is the strange part, the part I came here to write about. I feel like this is a perfect example of ...

I love my morning routine. I actually love most things about my life right now, which I am so incredibly thankful for. It’s taken work to get here. Hard choices. Sacrafices. Prayer… lots of prayer. A daily commitment to my mental health.  What that looks like for me is trying to get up before the kids and spend some time with God, listening to worship or the word, mindfulness and yoga, sometimes a walk around the farm, sometimes an early morning soak in the hot tub. I take my vitamins and supplements (curcumin, probiotics, vitamin D in the winter months.) I try to lay out healthy food choices for the kids to grab and go for breakfast, or lunch at school.  This year, for the time being, Tenley rides the bus and I take Jenica and Kenton to school. I miss having Tenley with us but with her late start time, it's more convenient and economical for her to ride the bus. Jenica could ride the bus too, but during volleyball when she has two full backpacks of stuff to haul around, I try...

This past weekend was so fun! The weather was beautiful. Sunshine, with that crisp cool air of Fall. Saturday Jenica had an all day volleyball tournament in Camas, Washington. Tenley had her first volleyball game at 8:00am here in Oregon City, and a soccer game in the afternoon in Portland, and then another soccer game this morning in Canby. I watched Tenley's volleyball game Saturday morning, then headed to Washington to spend the day at Jenica's tournament. On the drive, I was reflecting on life these days and the path my career has taken me. A few years ago, I made the tough decision to stop doing photography professionally, so I could focus on my tax consulting business. Since then, my business has more than doubled and I love Fall even more than I use to. Fall has always been my favorite season. But Fall use to be my busiest time for photos. Senior pictures, my annual "Fall Special", and the fact that Fall photos are GORGEOUS, it kept me very busy.  Back in the d...

Being appreciated isn’t a basic need for survival as humans. If we go without food, water, or air for too long, our body dies. If we go without love, gratitude, or appreciation, our physical body may not look any different on the outside, but I believe it affects our mental health a ton! There’s been many studies done about how gratitude and expressing appreciation can have profound effects on our mood and well-being. On the flipside, there have also been many studies about how ACE’s or adverse childhood experiences seem to be correlated with mental health struggles in adulthood, and usually those adverse childhood experiences are a part of an upbringing that was lacking in love, attention, and affection. Let’s make a little garden analogy, since I’ve been into gardening lately. Our bodies do not need fruits and vegetables to survive. Our bodies will continue to function, even if all we feed it is junk food and soda pop. However, how much better do our bodies function and feel when we ...

I just finished another amazing workout class with Holly. I don’t feel like “workout class” even adequately describes what she offers. On the half hour drive from Oregon City to Canby, I was contemplating what exactly it was that had gotten me out of the house this morning to even make the 30 minute drive for a half hour “workout class.” I have a gym membership and haven’t been to the gym in probably six months. So what is it about these classes that Holly offers that’s different? Well, lots of things that are probably hard to put into words (you just need to come to a class and experience it for yourself) but I’m going to give it a try. First of all, she sent me a personal message the night before, inviting me to class. Whenever I do see her, whether it’s been a week or a few months, she welcomes me like an old friend, with open arms and a warm hug, and I feel like she’s genuinely glad to see me. Her classes are full of positive affirmations, vulnerability, and just all-around good vi...

Some of you have noticed that we moved. Some of you know that I bought a house. Some of you know I bought the house with my kids’ dad, my “wasband” of 5 years. Yup, you read that right! Me and the ex-husband purchased a home together. No, we are not getting back together. We have totally separate living spaces and it’s been so wonderful for the kids. Here’s how it started back in December. This is a page from my journal that I was looking back on.  It was my personal writing to myself that I feel led to share, so please be kind. The holidays are definitely a challenging time for me. Broken families, childhood, trauma, anniversaries of loss, along with the cold weather, short days, and little sunlight here in the PNW… It definitely challenges my mental health.  This will be my first winter without antidepressants in quite a while. I think I might have done one of the Mexico winters without pharmaceuticals, but other than that it’s been at least 11 or 12 years since I’ve been an...

Ended the year with my favorites! So blessed to have my dad here visiting for a week. Hopefully by next year, we’ll have more room for you Grandpa Ken, but either way you’re welcome anytime.  I’m excited for the changes that 2023 has in store and I’m so thankful to be ending 2022 with a measure of peace that I’ve never experienced before.  It’s been a long journey working on re-learning who I am and what I need to be the best version of myself, and I know that journey will never end but I’m happy to have found contentment and peace in the process. Looking forward to less social media in the year ahead and more real life connections. Coffee dates, FaceTime, walks in nature or meetups at the gym, let’s connect irl (in real life) this year so we can truly know each other.  Social media isn’t the full picture. I know from experience that I can make my life look amazing on the outside while on the inside I’ve felt like everything was crumbling around me. If you feel this way, ...